Christmas, according to the song, is the most wonderful time of the year, and for many of us that is true. But Christmas can also be one of the loneliest times of year, particularly for children who have experienced abuse and neglect or are living in Out-Of-Home care.
Christmas can trigger a multitude of negative emotions for vulnerable children; memories of domestic violence, parental drug and alcohol abuse, a lack of food or gifts and feelings of isolation. Christmas cheer can quickly become Christmas fear and this often leads to children displaying behaviours that they have worked hard to resolve.
According to the Australian Childhood Foundation these may include poor impulse control (opening presents before Christmas or eating the chocolate decorations), difficulty following instructions and remembering rules, rapid mood swings (excited can soon become overwhelmed), clinginess and separation anxiety, sleep difficulties or nightmares and food hoarding or eating excessively or not at all.
CareSouth psychologist Leah Phillips said when children are exposed to developmental trauma, survival is their first and often only response. So when the chaos of Christmas shopping starts and new people start coming over to visit, the rush, rush, rush, means most of our brains start to go into overload.
“With so much information flooding through our senses, it can easily trigger our internal fire alarm (amygdala) to go off, not to mention for a child who has experienced trauma,” said Leah. “This means that they have a super sensitive fire alarm, ready to go off at the slightest of changes. When that fire alarm sounds inside the brain, it starts a cascade of events, which all lead to survival first (brain stem) and thinking later (cortex and prefrontal cortex).”
Leah says that for children exposed to developmental trauma, the cascade causes significant amounts of stress hormones to be released into the body, eventually triggering a full shut down from the top of the brain down. This results in the brain stem’s survival response of fight, flight or freeze kicking in.
“Once this has engaged it can take hours for the brain to recover itself and allow the higher functioning parts of the brain to come back online,” said Leah. “All this can come from Aunty Jo arriving from Perth and introducing herself.”
Leah notes that for traumatised children the brain needs the opportunity to heal in safe, nurturing, connected and predictable environments.
“In the chaos of Christmas, we can sometimes miss the subtle cues our children give to us about the unpredictability and lack of safety they experience with new people and strangers dressed up in red suits! It is important to take time to sit quietly with the children we care for, reminding them that they are with people who will keep them safe and who know they are important and special,” said Leah.
The ACF has 10 tips for carers and support workers to help vulnerable children feel safe and secure this Christmas.
1. Develop an understanding of our own stress responses as well as those of the children we are caring for so we can help them understand their feelings.
2. Keep as many routines as possible – we all cope better when we feel we can control or predict our day, and traumatised children are no exception. With busy, full days, the anchor points at the beginning and end become particularly important.
3. Prepare the child for any changes to normal routines in advance with as much detail as possible such as where you are going, why, who will be there, and what to expect.
4. Allow extra time to prepare the child for transitions, such as going from one house to another.
5. Have open and honest conversations with children regarding their family if they wish.
6. Identify a safe person at any parties that the child can stay with.
7. Develop a “special sign” with the child so that they can indicate when they need some support.
8. Build opportunities for quiet time and relaxation into every day.
9. Help them to organise and name their emotions and body sensations.
10. Make sure to find time for self-care – take time to self soothe and calm which will promote co-regulation.
For more information on the impact trauma can have on children at Christmas visit the Australian Childhood Foundation link: http://www.childhoodtrauma.org.au/2016/december/the-neurobiology-of-christmas
